The cuffing season survival guide
It's cold, it's dark, and suddenly everyone wants someone to watch films with. How to enjoy it, and how to tell a winter fling from the real thing.
The Love Desk · 2 min read
Every year, around the time the clocks change, something shifts. Your ex likes an old photo. The person who ghosted you in June sends "hey stranger." Your friends start pairing off like it's the last song at a wedding. Welcome to cuffing season: roughly October to February, when the nights are long and everyone suddenly wants a plus-one.
Why it happens
Nobody has run the definitive study on it, but the reasons aren't mysterious. It's cold and dark, so going out is harder and staying in is nicer with someone. The calendar fills with weddings, work parties and family dinners where turning up alone means answering questions. And there's a run of dates (Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day) that make being single feel louder than it is.
None of that is a bad reason to want company. It just helps to know which kind of company you're looking for.
Fling or the real thing? Five tells
1.Do the plans go past February?
Someone who's in it for the season talks about this weekend. Someone who's in it for you mentions a summer festival.
2.Have you met them in daylight?
A winter fling lives on sofas and late-night takeaways. Something real survives a Saturday morning walk.
3.Are you invited to the holiday things?
Not necessarily the family Christmas yet, but the friends' party, the work drinks. Being shown off is a good sign.
4.Did they appear the week it got cold?
If someone who's ignored you since spring suddenly remembers you exist in November, read the weather report, not the romance.
5.How do you feel when you think about March?
If the honest answer is "I'll probably be done by then," that's fine. Just know it, and enjoy it as what it is.
"I don't mind a winter fling, honestly. I just want to know that's what it is before I buy them a Christmas present."
"I'll admit it: winter makes me want someone around. But if I'm still texting her in spring, it's because I like her, not the weather."
How to have a good season either way
- If you want a fling: say so, kindly and early. "I'm not looking for anything serious, but I'd love some company this winter" is honest and surprisingly attractive.
- If you want more: say that too. Cuffing season is full of people who'd like something real and are too cool to admit it.
- If you're single and happy: enjoy it. Cuffing season is also the best time of year for friends, cosy nights and books. (We have a reading list for that.)
Bottom line
Wanting someone to keep you warm is human. Just check whether you're choosing the person or the season, and say which one out loud.
